Condensed Frank Herbert:
1: "I feel very optimistic about Dune, Planet of Death!" said the Duke.
2: "ARG! I die!" said the Duke.
3: "Hey, can I be, like, your messiah?" said the boy to the nomads.
4: "ARG I die!" said the baron.
5: "Jihad is just marketing, right?"
6: "Galactic genocide sucked. At least I'll always have Chani."
"ARG I die!" said Chani.
7: "I am both a grieving widower and married to a hateful woman. At least things can't get worse."
Narrator: Things got worse.
"What is the answer to 5B?"
"Competition in the labour market leads to efficiencies in wage costs"
"Correct, so why did you put "Workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains"
Jamie Lee Curtis vows to 'defend' her trans daughter: 'I love Ruby'
Oscar-winner Jamie Lee Curtis doubled-down on her support for trans rights and opened up about her fight to protect her daughter, Ruby Guest.
I will never not share this story whenever it crosses my feed. Never.
![ME: sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
Get startled by phone ringing
It's one of my players
Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?"
OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them.
NaniTheFuck.mp3
Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister.' Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
Me: "You ready for a story about…(DM IMPROV SKILLS
ENGAGE)...the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night.
Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him.
I am the dumb dumb mister.](/proxy/post_attachment/19443/592badbb5f.png "ME: sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
Get startled by phone ringing
It's one of my players
Me: \"Dude, it's midnight, you good?\"
Friend: \"Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?\"
OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
Me: \"Uh, sure? Shoot.\"
Friend: \"My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them.
NaniTheFuck.mp3
Me: \"She listens to us to fall asleep?\"
Friend: \"Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister.' Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler.\" Me: \"Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure.\"
Friend: \"Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room.\" (pause) \"Okay, you're on speaker.\" Me: \"Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon.\" Daughter: (Happy gasp) \"Dumb dumb Mister!\" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
Me: \"You ready for a story about…(DM IMPROV SKILLS
ENGAGE)...the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?\"
Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night.
Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him.
I am the dumb dumb mister.")
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he'd got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"Okay, follow me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy.
"GOOD," shouted the bat, "BECAUSE I FUCKING DIDN'T!"
"I took 1 star reviews of #Barbie from furious men on letterboxd and put them on the posters because it makes the film seem ever cooler."
That last one has to be a guy who doesn't understand why he is so attracted to the Kens.
#Feminist #PinkAcidTrip #Gay #AlienatingDangerousAndPerverse
https://twitter.com/TechnicallyRon/status/1683058689224179712
It’s quite terrifying how profoundly mindless these tech bro pseudo-prophets are - apparently incapable of understanding the world around them beyond the silliest level of superficiality, and yet enabled to have an outsized influence on the lives of future generations.
Hero Kerch bridge promoted to rollercoaster for service to Russian Federation
Biden Administration FDA APPROVES FIRST OVER THE COUNTER BIRTH CONTROL PILL
No one surpasses Mitch McConnell in shamelessness. It’s a damning indictment of the U.S. political and media cultures that this constitutes his greatest competitive advantage - a near-unbeatable superpower in the context of a deeply unhealthy polity.
There are two types of cats: murder and doofus.
#caturday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #murdercat #humor #humour #funny
Oh no. I've been shadowing a problem call hours in I noticed they had accidentally clicked in a Cmd window, which pauses it. They had been waiting on a paused screen for hours.
